Baby Girl is jumping around inside. Wonder if she knows I’m talking about her. Marcus keeps reminding me that he wants me to tell him every single time I feel her move – this was all fine and good a few weeks ago, but now I can feel her aaall the time! The coolest is when I feel her little head turning and twisting under my hand.
I’m sitting here writing while putting up a brave fight to keep my eyes open – not quite ready to face the cleaning party I had planned for today.
Going to bed has not exactly been something I’ve looked much forward to this week. Despite the irony of constantly feeling tired I have just not been able to actually bring myself to falling asleep. I lie awake hours after my man has drifted off with nothing to count but the times my bladder manage to fill up again and again. So my mind wanders. I think of just about everything… the baby kicking and keeping me company … what will she look like… will she be a good sleeper? or a good eater maybe? … can I manage to not cry when I fly home and leave Marcus here in Salt Lake for a few weeks? Will it even be worth it Skyping when I’m home or will I not be able to hold it together long enough to keep up a conversation? … How about when he comes home? … What will the day be like when I give birth? Will we have to rush off to the hospital in the middle of the night? Will we be surprised how soon she comes? Or will I walk around like a sad whale for a few weeks more than planned… and so on and so forth. And of course, turning on my colorful imagination only makes matters worse.
So… I sleep well every other night. Every other night I’ll lie awake trying to empty my mind so I can get some rest, get up when Marcus does, have breakfast together and then go back to bed for a few hours. But not for too long! Cause then the next night I’ll be soooo stinking tired that my hormones admit defeat as soon as I put my head on my pillow. And I’ll sleep like a baby till 6am – and don’t even think of taking a nap!
So that’s me at the moment. If I run into you, I’ll ask you to please not stare. I promise I’ll do my best to put on plenty of makeup to liven up my suicidal eyes. Thank you.
Meanwhile, I’m getting bigger. Someone asked me in passing the other day if I’d started to feel like I couldn’t breathe when I lie down. I responded that I didn’t think so, but later that night I realized that maybe I did and maybe that’s why my heart always started racing as soon as I lie down on my side. Also, not doing much for my sleeplessness.
Otherwise there’s not too much to tell. Baby Girl is supposed to just get fatter and fatter – no kidding, so am I! – so she’ll hopefully come out a round plump huggable baby! I wonder if there’s anything I can do to hurry up her fattening process.. maybe if I baked a cake..
That’s week 25, folks! Watch out cause I only have a couple more weeks of the second trimester!