We’re going through the process of reorganizing all our pictures on Google Photos, which includes emptying our phones, camera, laptops, Dropboxes, and other random platforms photos are hiding out on. It’s a bit of hard work but it is so much fun too. Seeing the last few years of your life summed up like that just makes you realize that progress is real and more dramatic than you feel. That rhymed.
Just looking through the pictures of Sophia this past year shows how many things have changed – and especially how much she has changed!
Man.. being the mother of a two-year-old is hard.
Like we always try to focus on the many positives right, but in all honesty… it’s also just really hard.
It’s easy when we sit in the couch and have long conversations about that drilling noise next door that sounds like a bee, or when we’re walking in the city and she’s singing and waving hello to everyone we pass, or when we lie in bed and she cuddles up to me, gives me a kiss and whispers “I love you, Mama”.
And those are mainly the moments I like to share and talk about here, because I imagine they’re the ones that are the most uplifting and they’re usually the ones I want most to remember. But can I just take a time-out here and be honest for another 100-200 words?
It’s hard when she’s screaming and kicking to get out of the stroller and everyone seems to look at you like you’re not managing your child good enough, or when she refuses to take a bite of the dinner you just cooked for her sake, or when she carelessly pulls out the hairdo you just spent 10 minutes of undeserved cartoon-time putting up, or when she takes over an hour to fall asleep, or when you feel you ought to discipline but you’re not sure she understands what she did wrong, or when she pushes you out of frustration and that push was the drop that made your tears run over, or when not even the tears on your cheek can summon some small sign of empathy from her, and then she screams again.
It’s just hard sometimes.
And can we just leave it at that? Because I know the good times make it all worth it. I know that it’s not my crisis, it’s hers. I know that it doesn’t last forever. I know that she loves me as much as I love her. I know all of that but just… let’s leave it there. Sometimes it just needs to be said so you can cry it out and move on.