It just turned November and it’s already blurring past us. I think I might actually be able to abstain from listening to Christmas music before time this year.
Big changes are coming for our family and I’m busying myself with picking out side dishes to make for Thanksgiving. This is however a great distraction. You can never prepare too much for the best meal of the year, and the possibilities seem eeeendless! The ones I’m most excited about right now are confetti corn and banoffee pie!
I get out of bed and follow the same routine. Get up at 7, pull on my sweats, change a heavy diaper, whip up breakfast. Wave bye-bye to Marcus, eat breakfast, call my sister, fit in a workout routine before naptime. During naptime I shower, clean up, get myself ready and blog if there’s time. After nap we snuggle in bed, then we have lunch. We go outside, on a walk or to the park. Or both. We go home and clean up and then it’s almost time for Marcus to come home. We meet him at the train, talk on the way home, have dinner, the bedtime shift, take a breath and then we go to bed.
Over and over again. And every time we get one day closer.
You’d think we were pretty used to change by now, and I guess in one sense we are. We know how to not get too attached and how to say ‘come what may’ and really mean it.
But the thing about change is that – well, it’s change. It brings on something new every time. So can you really ever be prepared?
Winds in the east, mist coming in. Like somethin’ is brewin’ and bout to begin. Can’t put me finger on what lies in store, But I fear what’s to happen all happened before.
I’m really crap at ending blog posts. Especially the blabbering ones like this one. That’s why I cheated and slapped on a relevant quote!
I often wonder if our marriage will keep having as many planning sessions as it does now in these early years. I hope it will. At least I hope that life won’t teach me that I’m naive if I think I can plan it. That I’ll have to do it the way everyone else does it and that the current is too strong to fight.
So here’s our plan: We want for Marcus to be ableto someday work from home. We want for me to be at home with our kids. Why? Because we want to be with our family. We want to put our family first. That’s why we decided to have one. So essentially our plan is to have the happiest family possible. And that’s the way we think we can best achieve that.
Is that naive? Is that dream a tiny bit too big?
Because it scares me that most people around me are doing it differently. I’ve already had people give me a weird look for saying that I don’t intend to put my daughter in daycare if I can avoid it. Does that mean my plan won’t work? Or does it just mean that we all have different paths to make our families happy? Because I guess we do. I’m just not sure I’m willing to let that fact crush my plan. And what about the government? It seems that most often it makes life a little easier for people who aren’t trying to follow a plan like mine. I’ll just have to live with that though. I don’t really think benefits are more valuable than our plan.
I’ve always known I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. My mom fought the current and did it and I knew that someday I would do the same. Because I loved having her there growing up. It’s taught and prepared me for being a mother and quite frankly I think it’s prepared her to be a better grandmother and to help and support her children establishing their own homes. So I always knew this was what I wanted to do. But it hurts me a little to think that a lot of people might think I’m lazy for it. Like I could do more in my life. Or like I could be a better citizen, be more beneficial to society. But I think the best thing I can do for my community is to raise a happy family. A happy, ambitious, hard-working, kind family.
And I know my plan might be a lot to plan for. I may be naive. And for many people this sort of plan just might not be an option. But I like to think that it is an option for me. To live life the way I want. Because I planned it that way. And we may be poor in the beginning. Heck! We may be poor for a very very long time. But, again, I don’t think the dog, the car, the yearly summer vacation, the new clothes every month, etc. are more valuable. I became a mom because I want to be a mom. And I think I should be able to do it the way that I think is best for my family.
As I’ve been a lazy slob posting on the blog the last two months there is naturally more than just the pregnancy that has happened.
Another exciting thing is that Marcus was offered the internship with Goldman Sachs in Salt Lake City for this summer. He really worked hard to get it and I’m so proud of him! And what a great opportunity! Talk about a door opener! (more…)